T. L. Morganfield

Watership Down was the only book I've ever read in secret.

In sixth grade, we spent a couple of really snowy days sitting inside during recess, watching movies. One of those movies was Watership down. At the time, I was really into cartooning, but most of my experience with the medium was Walt Disney movies and shorts and Don Bluth movies like The Secret of Nihm. Watership Down was a completely different animal from anything I'd seen before--violent and gory, with a bittersweet ending, and the story was compelling as all hell. I'd always thought of rabbits as cute, sweet little creatures that were fluffy and gentle (and if the Cadbury commercials were to be believed, they pooped those delicious Creme Eggs). The movie was an eye-opener to say the least. I wanted to check the book out from my elementary school library, but to my dismay, someone had lost it and the library had never replaced it.

So I casually mentioned at home that I was interested in it, and I was taken aback by the strongly negative reaction that drew. "It's an awful book, so pointlessly violent!" I didn't mention that we'd already seen the movie at school, afraid of getting my teacher in trouble (because I adored her), but it seemed quite clear to me that I wouldn't be able to convince anyone to take me to the public library so I could check it out. No one explicitly told me that I couldn't read it--the only time my parents plainly stated they didn't want me reading something, it was Stephen King's work, though even then it was couched as "I'd rather you wait until you're 14 to start reading those. They have a lot of adult content in them."--but I read the conversation to mean that I wasn't allowed.

Seemingly shut down at home, I enlisted a friend to help me procure a copy . She checked it out from the public library for me (oh the trust that entailed...or the youthful foolishness we can sometimes display), and she became my Watership Down dealer. I was astonished the first time I saw the hardcover; it was monstrous, the biggest book I'd ever seen. But I wasn't deterred. I read it when I wouldn't get caught, keeping it hidden under my mattress when I wasn't alone, and taking it to school with me to read during recess. It was the perfect plan....

Except sometimes I wasn't the brightest kid. I casually mentioned to my teacher that I wasn't supposed to be reading the book, and following her teacherly obligations, she phoned my mom and told her what I was up to. When mom came home that night, she came to my room (just seconds before I'd managed to tuck the book under my comforter) and I fully expected to be in serious trouble. To my relief though, she gave me permission to go ahead and read it, but warned me, "You probably won't like it. It will give you nightmares." I considered putting it aside at that point, even though I was really getting into it, but since I no longer felt the need to read it clandestinely, it seemed a waste to give up. So I continued reading it, searching for the terrible things that were going to give me nightmares.

I never did find what was so vile and scary about Watership Down; in fact, the more I read, the more I liked it, and the more I fell in love with the characters, especially Bigwig. The book became a minor obsession of mine for a couple years in middle school (and I habitually checked it out from middle school library--which did have a copy--until Mom bought me a copy of my own). In the end, it became one of my favorite books and I've read it numerous times over the years, always marveling how my eleven-year-old self managed to not only make it through such a huge, poetically-written book but fall in love with it too. I spent hours drawing the characters and plastering my bedroom walls with scenes from the book, like the one to the right; though they were often in full color, complete with the blood and gore. When my mother would ask me about all the blood, I'd tell her, "It's art, Mom!" She still gets a chuckle out of that.

Where the Red Fern Grows is the first book I remember ever falling in love with; my second grade teacher read it to us in class, and being someone who really liked dogs, I was immediately enthralled. I remember one kid kept telling the rest of us, "the dogs are going to die, you know?" but none of us believed him--no one would ever kill off dogs in books (this was long before I read Old Yeller). And even though he was right, I still loved the book dearly; I loved Old Dan and Little Ann, and I desperately wanted to be Billy Coleman--I stole my brother's raccoon-skin cap he'd gotten at Frontierland at Disneyland and from 2nd grade until middle school I wore it almost everyday: I would have worn it to school if my mother would have let me. I also wore overalls all the time and I named my Pound Puppies after Dan and Ann, and I swore that someday I would get some coonhounds of my own. I definitely had what Rawls had called "puppy love" in the book.

I don't know the exact number of times I read this book, but it has to be up near fifty; my teachers had to force me to read other books, and when I was flunking math in fourth grade, my mother didn't ground me from my friends or from the television--no, she grounded me from reading Where the Red Fern Grows. And it worked, for I busted my hump to get my math grade up and get my book back. Wilson Rawls was also the first author I ever wrote a fan letter to; unfortunately he'd succumb to cancer about five years earlier, but his wife Sophie sent me a nice letter that I kept for years and years, until it got lost as some point. I read the cover off of at least two copies, and before I had my own copy, I kept my school library's copy almost constantly checked (I adored the cover of their copy, which isn't the one shown here--I was unable to find a picture of the actual cover they had--and often thought of reporting it missing just so I'd have it forever, but my mother didn't raise thieves for children....). It didn't matter that I bawled my eyes out over and over when I read that book; nothing has quite held my heart the way this book had, and continues to do so today.

I tried reading it to my daughter, but to my sadness, she had very little interest, and when we were halfway through and she heard from someone about what happens at the ending, she didn't want me to finish. It was just too emotionally brutal for her and she wanted nothing to do with it. Years later I tried again with my son and this time we made it all the way through, and when I closed the book for the last time, he just kind of hid his head in his pillow and cried, and nothing I said comforted him. I figured he'd hated it too, but to my surprise, when we came across a $5 copy of the 1974 movie version, he begged me to buy it and we both sat down and watched it, and he cried again (it takes a lot to make me cry anymore). We haven't watched it since then, but I was glad to have least been able to share my love of this story with at least one of my kids.

And back in day, I'd always talked about how someday I was going to get myself two coonhounds, just like Billy had, and wouldn't you know, that is one childhood dream that came true. I wasn't looking for a hound, but when I saw Lily's adorable face on the Humane Society of Boulder Valley's website, I fell in love immediately and made sure I was at the shelter first thing the next morning. I really considered naming her Little Ann, but in the end we settled on Lily, which suits her just fine. She's not a Red Bone, like the dogs in the book--she's a Treeing Walker--but she's every bit as sweet and smart, and I really can't believe I waited until my 30's to finally get a coonhound of my own.

I'll be attending MileHiCon here in Denver October 18-20th, so you'll be able to find me at the following panels:

Friday 18th:

4:00-5:00 pm - Author reading: Hilari Bell/TL Morganfield (Wind River B) - I'll be reading from The Bone Flower Throne and I'll be giving away a free copy of the book to an audience member

8:00-9:00 pm - Autograph Alley/MHC Meet, Munch & Mingle (Atrium)

Saturday 19th:

11:00-noon - Researching Fiction (Grand Mesa B-C)

Sunday 20th:

3:00-4:00 pm - Border Crossing: Non-Western Fantasy (Mesa Verde A)  

My first novel The Bone Flower Throne is now available for pre-order on Amazon. Currently the product description is a bit messed up, but hopefully Ingram will fix it soon. The paperback version will start shipping October 7th, and the ebook will be available for immediate download at about the same time, maybe a few days later.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Bone-Flower-Throne-Morganfield/dp/1940581915/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1381156782&sr=8-1&keywords=bone+flower+throne